|
Post by sydney maree benz on May 26, 2010 14:22:24 GMT -5
Poor Sydney had never in her life felt this way about someone, it was something completely new too her . Something that made her so entirely happy, but completely afraid at the same time.
Never had she been the kind of girl too wear her heart on her sleeve, get all giggly over a guy, worry that maybe she wasn’t good enough and the list just went on and on. Now she was exactly that type of girl, she took hours to get ready even when she was just going too go meet up with people, stressed too several the constant worry she had that she would mess up and lose him when she finally felt like she was doing something right. She wasn’t constantly trying too please him by giving him things every guy wanted. When she was with Nic things had been this way, she felt into this hole and just lost herself all together. He made her feel worthless at times and it only felt like he was using her for sex, drugs and money too get a hold of those drugs. He changed her completely even too the point where she had pushed her entire family away and would just sit in the house waiting for him too return home. She became emotionless, hard and didn’t really care what happened too her as long as he was happy; that’s all that had mattered his selfish happiness.
Now things had defiantly changed, for the better you could say. Finally she was happy, and could be happy with out some sort of drug running through her veins. She was finally building up her trust towards people again and didn’t have too be so down on herself all the time. Jay had defiantly helped her with a lot of things, he took away all the pain she had bottled up for the previous years though when he left it all came rushing back too her. Most people would call is heartbreak, but that in fact had nothing too do with all the problems she dealt with on a daily basis.
Most of her problems started when she was younger, around the time her mother passed away. Cancer claimed her mother’s life and poor Sydney never come too terms with her beloved mothers death. She blame her mother in so many ways , at the time not really able too understand that her mother would of loved too stay with her children ; the decision was just not in her hands and even though her father tried too explain that too her she never believed him. The once religious little girl, turned away from god and constantly told people that if he really truly existed that he wouldn’t of taken her mother away from her.
The troubles only grew rose as she aged, there were proms too go too, first dates too experiences things a girl usually shared with their mothers but Sydney had nothing like that. She had her father and her brother who loved the poor girl too death, but that was never enough. She longed for a woman to brush her tears away as she struggled through her first broken heart, someone too take her prom dress shopping and too take her shopping when she needed too purchase her first bra. She never had any of this, she went dress shopping with her friends mother, her father tried too help her through the pain of heartbreak but that was never enough. Her mother had taken a fairly large amount of Sydney with her when she died and suddenly she felt like she was getting it all back; she felt like she could breath again.
Now she was sitting on her couch cuddled up in a blanket as a pizza cooked in the oven. You could say that there were better things to do on a Friday night then too sit at home , but she was waiting on someone too arrive and wouldn’t have it any other way. Being with Jay was like heaven too the girl, she was falling for him so quickly that it did in fact scare her but she refused too let her stupid insecurities wreck the great thing they had going and she couldn’t help but too think about that as she sat there starring blankly at the TV screen.
It was the smell of burnt pizza that brought her form her daze, and the high she was feeling ten minutes before had completely drained from her body as she rushed over too the stove and opened up the oven coughing as she did so . ” God damn it Max I did it again.” she groaned reaching down to pet the large dog as she placed a towel over the pan and pulled it form the oven a frown present upon her face.
I guess it didn’t really matter in this case, because Jay was perfectly aware that she wasn’t a very good cook in fact she wasn’t even good at placing frozen things in the oven and getting it out in time; yet another thing she blamed on her mothers absence. Though there was noting she could do about it now she dropped it into the trash can and put water on too boil hoping she wouldn’t mess this up as well.
Running her fingers through her dark hair she sighed picking up a black kitten as she made her way up the stairs. She needed too change if she was going too look presentable tonight, after all she had convinced Jay too come over around Nine and had too swear up and down that Presley would not be present because ever since he said something too Jay he had been a little weary of her dear brother. Groaning she pulled off a simple t-shirt and pair of shorts she had been lounging in ever since she had gotten out of the shower.
It was then and there that she had a change of plans, she was going to mix things up a little and see what would happen I mean it couldn’t hurt anything, right? Ruffling her hair up a little, she examined herself in the mirrors. Just in a pair of black lace panties and a matching push-up bra that made her boob’s look simply well irritable. Shaking her head she turned up the music a little until she heard a knock at the door and the dog’s went absolutely crazy. Grinning she made her way down the staircase and when she got too the door she couldn’t help but too laugh a little, as she pulled it open. ” Hey” she cooed, as if her standing there nearly naked was perfectly normal.
STATUS FEENISHHED WORDS SUMFINN NOTES ILY <#, SORRY THIS IS LAME TAG ANNNAAA slashh JAYY CREDIT TILLY OF CAUTION 2.0
[/color][/size][/font]
|
|
|
Post by jaymes alden pelletier on May 26, 2010 17:17:34 GMT -5
Jay was nervous. Was it stupid that he had known Sydney for awhile and had hung out with her plenty of times and was now even dating her and still was? Maybe so, but it was just the way it was. Sydney was so perfect for him and he didn’t want to fuck up anything. She gave him butterflys that he hadn’t felt in so long. She sure did scare him shitless, but he tried to get over his fears. He knew how girls were and what kind of pain they were capable of bringing him and he even shocked himself that he had stayed by her for so long. The last thing he had after mary didn’t last because of the fact that he got scared and just stopped talking to her all together. He had a fear of falling because he didn’t want to loose the people he loved. He had lost his family, and his ex fiancé and he didn’t want to loose anyone else. He blamed himself for all the people he had lost his whole life. The guilt he felt for it all ate him alive everyday, and it killed him that he couldn’t go back in time. Sydney was the only good thing he had going for him right now and he did not want to loose her. She was everything to him and he hoped she knew that. She was why he got up in the morning, because his job at wal mart sure didn’t. jay didn’t think she realized how much he truly cared for her. She was constantly afraid that he was going to hurt him and he was constantly afraid of loosing her, so their relationship together had been bumpy and they had went through a lot but they were taking it all slow. He made sure they did, so that she would know that he would never leave her or treat her like anything less than a queen. She was the love of his life, and jay wanted her to know that.
He hated that Mary had to die. Jay thought about that everyday. What if he had never met her? Then she would still be alive and he wouldn’t have to live with all the pain he was constantly going through. She had been his everything, but he couldn’t handle it anymore, couldn’t deal with the pain of seeing her hitting rock bottom, because she hit it. He was enabling her to as well so he didn’t want to cause her anymore pain. He broke it off, and that was the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life. She took hers, and from then on he was a complete mess. He didn’t go out; all he did was smoke pot and sit around mopping over his dead ex-girlfriend. Jay lost all of his friends and no one seemed to even care about him or what he was going through. He sat in his shit hole of an apartment thinking about the past every single day. If his best friend hadn’t told him to move out here he would still be that same guy. But, he had tried to start a new life, start over, and Sydney was one of the factors in his plans.
Jay was in his car, driving to see Sydney and thinking about what was going to happen. They had never had sex yet, even though Mae and Presley were both convinced otherwise. Sure, they had talked about it but it always just ended up with them dropping the subject. They had been so close many times and Jay had pushed her off, not wanting to go to fast. He didn’t want her to think he was like every other guy and just wanted sex, because he didn’t. Sex was just a thing that he thought should be waited out until the perfect time for people that really cared about each other. Sure, he had had his hookups in the past, but those were with people that he really couldn’t care less about and that didn’t care about him either. Sydney was a totally different story. He wanted them to wait. Jay wanted it to be just right, even though he knew Sydney was getting impatient. Teasing the fuck out of her did bring Jay a little pleasure, even though it tortured him as well in the end. Sydney was in everyway attractive to him and just a simple look at her could bring thoughts to his head that shouldn’t be there. That is why when he pulled up to her house, went up to the door, and knocked he was shocked to see her standing in front of him in only a bra and panties. It shocked him, but then again it didn’t. Sydney was spontaneous and that was one of the many things he loved about her. He looked her over and smiled down at her. He took his left arm under her legs and his right around her shoulders and picked her up. Jay could be spontaneous as well. He carried her into the house and over to the couch tossed her down gently, getting on top of her and pinning her down. ”why must you be so mean?” he said to her, huge grin on his face as he held her there.
tag, you're it , breeeeee/syd i said this much , nine one five. this post is , completed he's wearing , black v-neck and jeans a little note for you , i love you. template made by , PHOTO GURU GIRL
|
|